Wedding Story: How We Met



I'm thinking about doing a blog series on my wedding!  This is the freshest it'll ever be in my mind (seeing as how it happened last October) and I'd love to have it documented here so I can come back and enjoy it over and over again.

So I start with how Kevin and I met and our story of dating.  I hesitate sharing this with you...why?  I'm afraid of being judged.  I'm afraid of people thinking that I'm a jerk.  But our story is quite beautiful considering how God orchestrated it all.  If I had to summarize it all in one sentence, it would be this: God works in ways that you will never understand or ever be able to predict, but He is in control and knows what He's doing AND what is ultimately best for you.

So in November of 2010, I was not in a happy place.  I had just gone through a really tough breakup and to be honest, was pretty depressed.  I was 27 and not understanding why I was still single.  Though I was NOT old, I thought I was because most of my friends were already married and on baby #2.  Thankfully, I have a very supportive family who has always loved me and NEVER pushed me to marry quickly or feel inadequate because I was not married yet.  They believe in God making your story happen the way He wants it.

My roommate and I decided to visit the young adult gathering at my church on a Thursday night, November 4, 2010 to be exact. Ha!  It was on this night that I met Kevin, my future husband.  I remember thinking he was a good-looking guy who was very sweet and seemed down-to-earth.  At the end of the night, we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to hang out again. 

Now a bit about my thoughts at this point: my heart was very broken.  I still cried daily and just couldn't get out of my depression that started the previous September.  I had considered counseling before, but never wanted to pay the money to invest in it.  The daily crying finally convinced me that I should give it a go.  I was sick of being in a such a terrible place.  I got a recommendation from a friend for a great Christian counselor and started going weekly.  I cannot tell you how BIG this time in my life was!  I learned SO much about myself, my desires, why I process things the way I do, what in my childhood affected the way I handle situations today, the kind of men I was attracted to, and more.  This all came from the LORD and His guidance in this time of counseling.

Ok, back to Kevin.  We immediately became great friends and hung out often, even just the two of us.  I think that because of my brokeness, I couldn't see past being friends at the time.  I knew I was not in a place for a relationship.  I did go on dates with others in the meantime, but nothing became of any of it.  I got to know Kevin very well.  I knew deep stuff about him and he knew deep stuff about me.  I was always honest with him about my intentions - being friends.  He so graciously accepted me where I was and accepted me as his friend, best friend.  There were times that I felt like we shouldn't hang out as much but I just couldn't stop....I LOVED hanging out with him.  I felt like he got me for who I really am and accepted me despite all of my inadequacies.  In fact, I had an ex-boyfriend that viewed my querks as annoyances.  He rolled his eyes at the things that Kevin loves about me.  I was always 100% myself around Kevin.

So for a year and half, this was life.  I continued my counseling which went from getting over the ex-boyfriend to moving onto bigger and deeper topics that I had never dug into.  I highly recommend counseling for everyone - we all have stuff we need to dig into, no matter who we are.  No one is too good for counseling.  But hear me on this - there are good and bad counselors!  Get recommendations!  Ask around!  Don't just Google someone.

I was also digging deeper into my relationship with God and getting a true understanding of grace and His unconditional love.

Kevin and I became better friends.  During this time, we got to know each other's hearts without the temptation of becoming too physical or caring way too much about what the other thought since we weren't dating.  I so appreciate that phony filter not being a part of our friendship.

Here are some photos of the random things we did while we were friends over that year and a half:


 
 
 
 
 
 

Coming soon....Wedding Story: How We Started Dating

5 on Friday!

It's time for 5 on Friday!!  I look forward to this every week!

#1

Last weekend I did a wine tasting with my small group girlfriends in downtown Grapevine at D'Vine Wine.  We had such a blast!  I just love these girls and feel so blessed that God has brought them into my life.  We missed the three that weren't able to make it and love them too!  They are such an answer to prayer!

(sorry for the zombie eyes!!)

On that day, 50% of the proceeds from wine tastings went to support Golden Retriever Rescue of North Texas.  This is the organization through which Kevin got our sweet little (but big!) Riley....or as we call her "Riley Cakes".  Isn't she adorable?!



#2

This week, my sister, Lauren, sent me this adorable photo of my 3.5 month old niece, Kassidy.  Isn't she so stinking adorable???  I just had to share it with you all!

#3

I don't normally brag but I'm going to for a second.  Ok maybe I did in #2 about my niece already. Ha!  Before Kevin left for Arizona, he bought me flowers!  Aren't they so pretty?  I'm a lucky girl!  And I'm posting a photo of him looking mighty handsome along with it.

#4

This week I made Cilantro Lime Chicken Tacos using my Crockpot!  I used this recipe from Six Sisters' Stuff, bought some corn tortillas, shredded a little cheese, cut up an avocado and we made them into tacos!  You may have to scroll down that post a bit to get to the Cilantro Lime Chicken with Corn and Black Beans.  We also added a little of the awesome Fuzzy's Taco Sauce.  They were delicious!

#5

Caroline over at In Due Time had a really great post this week about "taking captive" your negative thoughts.  She was talking about Philippians 4:8 and the thoughts that the Lord does want us to have.

The Lord really convicted me while reading this post.  This is so hard for me.  I mean, how often does a negative thought come across your mind?  And more so...how often do you verbalize that negative thought?  I know it happens for me in the form of complaining.  I've really started praying and asking God to take those thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).  I'm really trying to be aware of when these thoughts come through my mind and ask God to take them away.

Have a wonderful weekend, folks!!!













Here's to 2014!

I know I'm a little late on this post but hey, better late than never, right?!

Honestly, I don't make new years resolutions because I usually fail at them.  After hearing my pastor's sermon a couple Sundays ago, I was motivated to make some goals.  You can listen to Pastor Andy's sermon here.  I also like what Jodie, our pastor to women, said about it here.

My goal in 2014 is to be more like my master, Jesus Christ.  While this is a daunting task, it is a realistic one if I break it down into smaller tasks...perhaps, more tangible tasks. 

I've also made some health-related goals that are unique for me. 

So I share my more specific goals with you, asking you to help keep me accountable:

1) Wake up earlier - I am a huge fan of sleep!  I think that getting 8 hours of sleep a night is healthy and just puts me in a better mood.  But I also am very productive when I wake up early and get things done in the morning.  It also will help me achieve #2 and #3!  So I'm attempting to get to bed early so I can wake up early every day.  Plus...Jesus did it and I'm striving to be more like Him!



 

2) Spend time with God daily - Even if it's just a short amount of time, I want to make a habit of this.  Sometimes I get down on myself for not doing it, but even 10 minutes is better than nothing!  Baby steps, Kelli, baby steps.  What a perfect way to enrich my relationship with my Best Friend and Father!  Shouldn't we want to spend time with our best friend to deepen our relationship?!  I'm finding this book to be an awesome way to do this!  Each day is short and full of wisdom.  Thank you for this book, IBC women's ministry!

Jesus Today by Sarah Young

 

 

3) Work out 2-3 times a week - I used to work out more often and probably should now, but I need to start with something realistic.  Even as a woman with no kids, I am SO busy and it's hard to find time to work out.  You know how most girls exercise like crazy before their wedding??  Yeah, I was the opposite.  I worked out much less because I was so busy!  Then we had the holidays!  Thankfully, my building at work just put in a new gym that I can use for free!  And I can watch Heroes on Netflix on their awesome iPhone hookup on each monitor!  That's motivation! Ha!  I also do my Advocare workout DVD at home when I can't make it to the gym.

 



 

Ok, let's pretend that this is me now, not my freshman year in high school...



 

4)  Eat "out" less often - Eating out costs so much money and you don't know what they put in your "healthy" meal, should you choose one.  We're aiming to eat at home more often - plus, I love cooking!  However, meeting friends for dinner is a huge part of our social life.  Relationships with others is a high priority for me so I'll still do this every now and then.  I'll just find a healthy balance!

 



 

5) Eat fewer tomatoes and fried food - fun fact about Kelli: I have acid reflux. Not so fun, right?!  It's actually pretty difficult to manage seeing as how I LOVE tomatoes.  The following foods are highly acidic and are bad for my stomach: tomatoes, pineapple, oranges, lemons, limes, red wine, coffee, spicy food, garlic, onion, vinegar, grapefruit, etc.  The following flares it up for other reasons: fried food (french fries!), alcohol, fatty foods.  Many of my favorite things to eat are on that list!  My obsession with tomatoes and french fries is probably what caused it.  Try to find a crockpot meal that doesn't include one of these...it's hard!  I'd like to get off of my medicine though so I'm aiming to be good.

 



 

6) Pray for my husband intentionally - there is nothing more powerful than prayer.  I want to be more intentional about praying for every aspect of Kevin's life.  It'll also help me to see him as God does.  I'm praying through this book currently:

 

"A Wife's Prayer" by Pamela Hines



 

7) Learn how to say "no" (and not feel bad about it) - I really struggle with this.  I'm working on not saying "yes" to all things and all people and I think I'm making progress.  Now that I have a husband, he's a priority, but I still value friendships very much so I'm learning how to balance that.  I've also limited my weekly commitments to only two things - where I volunteer as a budget counselor (New Friends New Life) and our young-marrieds small group at church (starting this Sunday!)  Here is a great post from Mix and Match Mama this week on this topic:

 



 

Don't be afraid to ask me how I'm doing on all of these!  I need accountability!





30 Things To Do Before You're 30

I recently clicked on a link that was shared by 4 of my Facebook friends thinking, "this should be a great article!"  It was entitled "23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You're 23".

As you probably know, I got married at 30 and though being single in my 20's was hard at times, especially when Facebook constantly reminded me that I was not married and didn't have children, I don't regret it.  In fact, I am very grateful for it.  I loved my 20's!  The Lord is perfect in His timing and I couldn't imagine my life without my amazing husband now.  I am so blessed.

I believe that God has a different story for each and every person.  For some, that's getting married at 19.  For some, that's getting married at 45.  For some, that's never getting married.  It doesn't matter.  I believe that getting married is NOT our goal in life...loving God and loving others is.  But whatever God's story is for you, you are called to do it the best that you can.

Ok, back to this blog about not getting engaged before you're 23...  I think the idea of the post is great!  The actual 23 things, I don't quite agree with.  I have a bone to pick with one (well, many but I'll just mention this one) - "#7 Get a tattoo.  It's more permanent than a marriage"....Not that I'm against tattoos at all, it's the second part.  It's sad that our society views marriage as being not permanent.  Say what you want...I know I've only been married for 2.5 months, but I do know what the Bible says.  If we go into marriage with that mindset, we're doomed to fail.

If God has called you to be single for longer than you thought you would be, why not enjoy it?!  Why not make the most of it?!  I decided to make my own list since I didn't agree with the other one.  I can't say that I achieved all of these in my 20's, but I'm so glad that I did achieve the ones that I did!

So here you go...30 things to do before you're 30 (especially if you're not married):

1) Figure out who you are - this is your transition from childhood to adulthood.  Figure out what you believe in, what you like, what you want out of life before you bring others into the mix.

2) Think about your future - Do you want to go to school? Do you want to work your way up in a company?  Do you want to start your own business? Do you want to be a stay-at-home-mom/dad? Do you want to travel?

3) Start saving money!  Figure out how you're NOT going to be in debt the rest of your life like the rest of America.  And I'll tack this one on - start saving for your retirement.

4) Pick a state in the US you've never been to and GO!  This may require saving up some money, but do it while you're healthy and don't have children depending on you.  You can totally do this once you have kids, but from what I hear, it's a heck of a lot harder.  I plan to do it more when I do have kids!

5) If you can save up a little more money, visit a country that is out of your comfort-zone.  The USA is a wonderful country and I'm so grateful to have been raised here, but going to another country opens your eyes like nothing else can.  No matter where you live, you start to subconsciously think that the world revolves around you.  That is wrong.  Way wrong.  God has created SO many cultures, SO many people groups, SO many different environments.  I can't explain how it opens your eyes, but it really does.  I wish everyone could do this before they die.  It gives you perspective on the world and God's immense love.

6) Date around.  Date different types of people.  Find out what you like, what kinds of personalities you work with and clash with.  Honestly, this will get you hurt at times.  But getting hurt is what makes you stronger and helps you to figure out what you will work with successfully.  It can help you be wiser in your choice of a mate.

7) Go to a counselor.  I can't tell you how much counseling has done for me.  I don't care who you are, where you come from, how healthy you think you are.  You can benefit from counseling.  We all have stuff that we need to talk through.  NOTE: There are good and bad counselors.  Do your research.  Ask your friends.  Find a good one!!!

8) Be artistic -  Paint a painting.  Copy something on Pinterest.  Bake a cake.  Make a wallet out of duct tape (wink, wink Penny).  No, we're not all artsy people...myself included.  But there's something therapeutic about being creative.

9) Figure out who your true friends are.  A wedding most certainly shows you this, but if you keep your eyes open and observe who cares about your friendships as much as you do, you'll save yourself a lot of time.

10) Try all types of foods - perhaps you'll like something you didn't think you'd like.  Try Thai, Greek, Japanese, Mexican, Italian, Ethiopian, Vietnamese, American, German, Chinese, Cambodian, Korean, Belgian, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Dutch, Spanish, Polish, Brazilian, etc.

11) Learn how to do something new - Maybe you were never taught how to swim...why not learn how to as an adult? Learn how to sew.  Learn how to fix a car.  Learn how to invest.

12) Make at least one big decision on your own that most people do as a married couple - You will learn how to be independent and strong on your own.  Making these decisions as a couple is huge, but if you're one that defers to another person most of the time, it will help you to be more decisive and independent.  Purchasing my condo as a single woman definitely shaped who I am today.

13) Visit your family often - I hope you're from a family that is loving, because I know that not all are.  But if you are, spend time with them.  They are some of the only people that will still be there for you years down the line.  And remember...family isn't always the one that you were born into.

14) Learn some jokes from your grandpa.

15) Put up a Christmas tree in your home at Christmas, even if you live alone and think that no one will ever see it.  Do it for yourself.

16) Join a social group - through a church, through your apartment complex, on Meetup.com, with some common goal like rock climbing or running.

17) Become friends with many different types of people - get to know your neighbors, invite new friends to coffee just to learn from them, listen to views that are different from your own.

18) Scan your Facebook newsfeed less often - it leads to comparing our own lives to others and jealousy often stems from it.

19) Brush your teeth every night - I know it's basic, but I know most people don't.  That's a lot of money you'll be spending down the line on dental work so why not prevent it starting now?

20) Get a pet (or at least "pet-sit" for a friend) - animals have a way of showing love that most humans cannot.

21) Learn to be content with your present circumstances -  "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." - Paul in Philippians 4:11

22) Volunteer your time - "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs - how he can please the Lord." -1 Corinthians 7:32  Don't worry...I'm not saying that as a single person, you have all the time in the world.  I know that's not true!  It used to frustrate me when people acted like I had all the time in the world because I wasn't married and wasn't a mother.  No matter if you're married or single, I believe that we're called to help others in need.  Use your time to give to others while receiving nothing in return.

23) Go to New Zealand - I know this is expensive and doesn't quite jive with #3, but don't miss out on this beautiful country.  You will experience the most majestic mountains, huge glaciers, stunning wine country, massive whales, safest hostels, adrenaline-pumping adventure activities, intriguing history, and Frodo-spotting tours...not really.  Seriously, words cannot explain how amazing this country is.

24) Exercise - Don't let the people who are obsessed with it intimidate you.  Do it for you.  Do it to keep your heart healthy.  You don't want to be the person at 65 saying "I wish I had...."

25) Pay off debt - Work as hard as you can to obtain financial freedom from debt.  Live minimally so you can pay off your student loans, credit cards, car loans.  You can even work aggressively to pay off your mortgage at a young age.

26) Get checked out by a dermatologist.  Remember all that time you spent in the sun in college?  Skin cancer doesn't only choose those over 40.  Start wearing sunblock regularly.

27) Find a mentor.  Everyone can benefit from learning from someone who is older and wiser than he or she is.  They may help you avoid some major pain and provide insight you never would have fathomed.

28) Move out of your parents house at some point.  Be independent.  Learn how to navigate on your own.

29) Take at least one year to be single.  Some people come out of one relationship and dive right into another.  #6 is still true - date around.  But commit at least one full year to being single.  It'll help you accomplish #1!

30) Open your heart to seeing God's love for you.  Whether you believe in God or not, give Him a chance, just to see if He does it.  Let Him reveal Himself to you.  Put your faith in Him.  It's the most important decision you'll make in your entire life.


You don't have to be unmarried or under 30 to do these things.  I'm still working on some!  But I would encourage you to take advantage of them if you are.  You only live once...as much as I make fun of people who say YOLO, there's some truth to it.  But do it wisely.  For our true rewards are in Heaven for eternity.

why do i care what you think?

I have been humbled lately.  The biggest thing that I struggle with has reared it's ugly head and made itself quite known in my life.  It's something I've struggled with since I was a child and has only gotten worse as an adult and is affecting the good relationships in my life.  Due to this, God has been screaming at me lately!  Screaming at me to wake up and trust Him with it.

I share this so that you can pray for me and perhaps some of the words will encourage you.

I am addicted to approval from others.

I want to share with you how God has spoken to me about it, but first, I want to discuss why we struggle with this.  I know I'm not the only one as there are many books written on it.  I plan to read one soon!

A couple weeks ago, I attended my church's women's retreat and Nicole Unice was the speaker (side note: ladies, read her book "She's Got Issues").  Her lesson on Saturday morning (not to mention, the whole weekend) was exactly what I needed to hear.....not a coincidence (wink, wink...God).  She said this:

Our human nature always presents the temptation to live for:
1) Acceptance from others
2) Approval from authority
These temptations reveal our deepest longing for worth and approval.

I believe this can be a product of so many things in our childhood....perhaps it was a parent that pushed you to be perfect and never accepted anything less, perhaps your parents always affirmed you and never corrected you, leading you to believe that you could do no wrong, perhaps nothing was ever good enough for your parents and you spent every day trying to receive their approval, perhaps you had pressure from your peers to be a certain way and that need for approval stuck with you.  There are so many possibilities, but I'm pretty sure that if you inspect your past, you'll find some answers.  I think we are all tempted at some point to desire the approval of others, because you want to know that you're worth it.  The problem lies here...we seek it from humans aka our peers aka our parents aka our coworkers aka our significant other aka anyone with an opinion.  The answer: we can only find our worth and identity in Jesus Christ...but I'll expand on that later.

I want to share some Biblical examples of this:

David
Nicole shared this story from 2 Samuel 6:12-22 about David dancing in the streets, sacrificing burnt offerings and handing out a lot of gifts as the Ark of the Covenant was brought to Jerusalem.  Saul's daughter, Michal, thought it was quite ridiculous and ridiculed him for it.  She even called him vulgar.  I'll be honest...I would have started questioning my actions and started apologizing so that she would like me again.  But David doesn't.  He stands up for himself and says "I will celebrate before the Lord.  I will become even more undignified than this and will be humiliated in my own eyes."  I respect him for not caring what she thought.  He knew that what he was doing was right in the eyes of the Lord and he didn't let it phase him.  Note taken.  Thank you, David.

Pilate
So I'm reading the Via Crucis by Shawn Small during Lent this year.  I have also been reading The Cross-centered Life by C.J. Mahaney (thank you, Megan!) and in this, my eyes keep coming back to the Cross.  This is how it should be...I pray that I continue to do so even past Lent.  All things come down to the fact that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was sacrificed because our Father loves us unconditionally...that's it...it's offered to you and you can do nothing to deserve it, just accept it.  But back to my point...Jesus was brought before Pilate during this "trial" process after being arrested.  In Luke 23, Pilate tells the people that he has found no basis for the charges against Jesus.  He knows that Jesus has done nothing wrong, nothing worthy of being executed.  But to please the people, he says he will punish him and then have him released.  So they beat him.  They tortured him to the point that he no longer looked like himself.  But that wasn't enough for the people.  They keep yelling, "Crucify him! Crucify him!"  But it says in verse 20 that he wanted to appeal to them (the people).  In verse 24 he decided to grant their demand.  He let a guilty man (Barabbas) go and killed an innocent man....all because he didn't want the people to hate him...or even kill him.  You see, Pilate cared too much about what other people thought about him.  He crucified our Savior in order to keep his name clear with society.  Every time that give in just to appease other people, am I not also crucifying my Lord?

Over the past 2.5 years, I've realized my need to look good in others' eyes.  Around that time, through some specific events, I finally broke down, talked to a counselor about it and started my healing.  It was great for a while, but then I've let it slide back in and take over my heart.  I've found myself crying and wanting to prove to someone that I'm worthy of being his or her friend and that they should like me when I did nothing wrong.  Even when I was wrong, I found myself caring more about what the person thought than asking forgiveness for what I did.  I've found myself worrying like crazy in my head and heart, thinking that someone doesn't like me when in reality, they probably don't think that at all, yet I stress, give myself ulcers and cry because I'm so worried about it.  It's exhausting!

So the weekend of the retreat, I finally broke down and said, "God!  What am I doing wrong?!  I thought I was done with this!"  And he told me this (through a perfectly timed text sent from my friend, Jennifer), "[Kelli], I (the Lord) will fight for you!  You need only BE STILL!" (Exodus 14:14)  Ok, ummmm, God, how am I supposed to do that??  But throughout the next two days, talking to a few people and praying with them, I realized that it meant that I will never be able to get over this approval addiction on my own.  All I can do is surrender it to God.  That's it.  He is the only One with the power to truly set me free.

Nicole shared these verses with us which have become a staple in my every morning since that weekend:

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, 
and he answered by setting me free.
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
The Lord is with me; he is my helper.
I will look in triumph on my enemies.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the Lord
than to trust in princes.

The Lord is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.

I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
you have become my salvation.

This is the day the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

~Psalm 118:5-9,14,21,24

I know this will be an ongoing battle throughout my life.  But if I take refuge in the Lord, it will not cripple me, it will not damage good relationships.  If I look for my worth in the Lord and not in other people, I can live with confidence that I am His beautiful creation...as are you...this is not just reserved for me, you know. ;-)

So please pray for me in this.  Please pray that I would stop caring so much about what others think.  Pray that I would find my identity in Christ, not in mere humans, as some translations say.

As Psalm 118:28 says, "You are my God, and I will give you thanks; you are my God, and I will exalt you."

(so much for my posts not being long...ha!)